>I have not been as regular with my writing here recently because it has gotten really busy just before baby #2. Some of it is preparing, some of it is trying to get a lot in before it comes. This morning I am heading off to the dentist to have some work done. Not fun.
Anyway I was comforted last night after my Community Group by Steve Brown’s words, “The church is like a bunch of porcupines trying to hug in a wind storm.” That about sums it up.
>At 4:00AM EST Saturday 10/7/2007 my grandfather, died. They took him to a hospice last Thursday where he was unresponsive and he never came to. This is one of those moments living on the opposite end of the country from your family really sucks. Karin is 37 weeks pregnant, which means any day the baby could come and be consider “on time”. There is no way I can get to the funeral.
Billy was a pretty amazing man, part of the great generation. Flew planes in WWII, faithful Catholic, and a cattle trader just about his whole life. What little I know about my grandfather I really respect. He was no saint and had a significant battle with alcoholism, which he was on the upside for about 13 years before his death. His dedication to his faith and the relationships he had with people who he sold to remind me a lot of myself. I do have a feeling we are more similar than I could ever imagine.
>This week we had a scare regarding our pregnancy. Thankfully it turned out to be nothing more than a fibriod which 75% of women have and it is in a place that will not effect the pregnancy or birth. This was scary, we are thankful for our friends who prayed, and it got our attention and lead us deeper into prayer.
My thoughts on it are this. 1. Things change quickly in life. I read yesterday that a spiritual discipline of the midevil church was for them to think before each prayer that they might die at the end of it…so give it all you got! Our lives as Johnathan Edwards preached on, are hanging by a thread. We often forget that. 2. Fear is powerful. The unknown and all the possibilities, especially the worst ones, can cause chaos. It is no wonder to me that the Bible address fear so much. 3. God never gives you more than you can handle. I am so thankful for the position we are in so that Karin and I can really embrace this pregnancy together. When she was pregnant with Aidyn she was still working at this point. There was no slowing down and resting.
>I realized that I left out the really great part of what happen with Dee. She, as she would say, wanted to spend her last days on the west coast with her west coast family, who were us. That is pretty incredible. She arrived on Greyhound on Thursday, and all the ladies picked me up from an event I had for work. We then went to a BBQ or on the East Coast we call it a Cookout because there was no BBQ. It was here when Dee said to us, “There are no black people in Seattle, huh?” We said no, not when compared to Oakland. And she said, “That’s alright you guys always have me.” and she smiled.
Dee spent the entire weekend with us and flew out on Monday. Other than major food issues, and drying laundry at 2AM on Sunday night which sounded like a roll of quarters came loose in it. We had an amazing visit.
Our family tradition is to have a time of worship on Sundays sometime after church and before bed. It was such a blast to have Dee acting out skits that Aidyn made up to illustrate the part of the Lord’s Prayer, “Lead us not into temptation.” We talked about all that we rely on to keep us free from temptation, those things that God gives us, and of course God. And we prayed for Dee and her new start at life.
There were a couple things I learned from our visit. 1. Elders deserve respect. Dee is well into her 40s and maybe even 50. She has lots of life experience and it was a wild balance of caring for her while she was at our house and respecting her wishes. It was like having family stay. 2. Just because you have been homeless for years does not make you have less of an opinion about anything. Dee had very strong opinions on mortgages, child raising, food, and pretty much anything else. I couldn’t help but smiles sometimes about how passionate she was. 3. The family of God is really fun. I cannot tell you how blessed we are to be friends with Dee. She calls regularly now and checks up on us and checks in. 4. Never underestimate what God is doing. Our time in Oakland was challenging and having to leave so quickly we often wonder if we had much of an impact. Having Dee reminded us that God used us in some pretty cool ways.
>After a short run this morning I was all gear up to jump into my work week and head off to the office, which is a good thing because I didn’t feel that way last night. Instead of catching the earlier bus and really hustling with work I decided to get some prospecting done here at home and catch my normal bus. At 8AM I hear a faint noise coming from my daughters room. Her back to school gift was an alarm clock, and to your surprise it is one of her favorite possessions in all the world. Oh to be a kid again, she has no idea. Anyway for her it is independence. So I hear this noise, by the time I make it to her room, she has a full dance going in the center of her room while singing “I like to move it move it.” This was the kid who all summer we had a horrible time getting out of bed. Needless to say I joined her in the dance, had to write about it and now am off to the office very glad I hung around to get my grove on.
>I couldn’t complete the story of Dee’s visit to Seattle, and actually didn’t want to because I wanted to be sure that she made it to CT. There was a thought in the back of my mind that she might end up delayed or trying to stay here. That would have been very bad with Karin being pregnant and already streched on patiences as the little tiger in her kicks her from the inside constantly.
So I’ll be sure to take some time and wrap up that story, there are a few great moments we shared with Dee this past weekend.
>Our time in Oakland, CA was a time of great growth for both Karin and I culturally. Living in a historic black city as a white person will educate you. Most of our experiences in church life there were difficult. The stories didn’t end up being wrapped in a bow with a happy ending like I often expect them too, perhaps I watch too many After School Specials as a kid. This weekend we have been bless with the visit of a friend, the last person in the world we would expect to have visited us, and are able to see that her story is going in an entirely different and wonderful directions. Perhaps there is hope for the eternal optimist, an after school special can come true.
Our church was located on Grand Ave. in Oakland a pretty cool road that at one point wraps around Lake Merritt, but the north end of it is a business district and our church was just north of the business district. The two closest shops near us were Safeway and Ace Hardware. On a regular basis outside each of these establishment there would be someone selling a Street Spirit, in SF it is Street Sheet, and in Seattle they are call Real Change, but they are all the same. $1 newspapers people who are homeless sell with a permit. So in our time in Oakland, CA our family got to know one of these people really well, Dee.
Now I am taking too much credit. I would say hi to Dee, or once in awhile buy her something. She loves Cranberry Juice Cocktail. It was actually Karin though who really began to connect with her. The developed a friendship, through Karin chatting with her, but also Dee’s love of kids and affection for Aidyn. Dee ended up attending our church and I met with her to try to develop a plan to help her find a place to live and work on some addiction issues. For most of our time there there really wasn’t much new happening with Dee. Multiple physical issues, occasionally missing appointments we would set, seasonal attendance to church, and ultimately her addiction had a hard grasp on her life. Throughout all of it our family would have great interactions with Dee.
One of the funniest had to to with Dee knowing that she was not going to make it to church one week and wanting to make sure that her tithe money made it. So she tried to give it to Karin outside of the Safeway store. Already it was uncomfortable for Karin to be handed money from someone who was homeless, but on top of that the Oakland Fire Department was there sitting their engine looking down at this white woman wrestling over money with this homeless lady. Needless to say when Karin still tells me the story I crack up.
The most touch part of our relationship with Dee came down to how much she and Aidyn love each other. Aidyn would regularly take gifts to Dee, but every time Dee saw Aidyn she would give her at least one banana. It was great as a parent to talk with my daughter about generosity and how special that banana really was because Dee didn’t have much and yet she gave what little she had to those she loves. Aidyn got it. The funny part is Dee hates banana’s. And I guess that was an easy thing for people coming out of a grocery store to give someone. They just rip off one of their bananas as they walk out to their car. Even then since being in Seattle we got a card from Dee and there was $5 for Aidyn, her “banana money”.
Just before we left Oakland things with Dee did take a dramatic turn and it was for the worst. Our last few connections with Dee were in psychiatric hospitals. Without going into the details, things just had piled up for Dee and it broke her. Unlike most of what I hear of people experiences in state run facilities like this, we were able to make good connections with staff, and did what we could to make sure Dee would have the best care. Karin also made one trip where she and Dee were able to go out shopping and pick up some real basic needs, and some just for fun, but there were things that got lost in the break down.
Then we left. After arriving in Seattle we would get regular phone calls and messages from Dee and it was clear that she was doing better and we were very excited. Again she sent the wonderful card to Aidyn and we were hopeful for what was happening in her life. And then she began to mention leaving Oakland moving back East closer to family, and before she did it she was going to make a stop in Seattle. Last Thursday night Dee made it to Seattle…
>How much fun is this? Ruckus is one of those words that makes me want to run around, especially now since I am at the office, messing up desks and dance with trash cans. I am the only sales person (other than the president of our company but he doesn’t count on one level…he does alot more) so I am often the one causing the ruckus at Sinometrics.
Most of my life is about ruckus. Just the other day a friend of mine who has four kids was talking about how he realized that his kids are loud. At that moment my wife chimed in saying she thought our daughter was loud too. My friend interupted his thought, turned to my wife and said, “Oh yeah, your daughter is really loud.” Then after finishing his though state that he thinks she might be louder than his four kids combined! Karin and I agree with huge smiles. Our family loves to cause a ruckus, whether it is signing, dancing, or telling jokes something is usually going on. Amazingly the tenants that live in the unit under us renewed their lease, they must be hard of hearing!
>On average the last four days I have spent four hours in the car. Yesterday took the cake when we decided to travel back from fishing, instead of disassembling the fishing poles we slid them into the car, taking up the full length as they jabbed me in the chest, stomach and eyes for the entire two hour ride. Talk about hell. Just one of the joys of spending time with family.
One of my favorite games at my in-laws is to make the pictures crooked. My mother in law will by 50 little paintings or pictures rather than a piece of art to hang in the wall. So when I come to stay with the I make them crooked all over the house. An added bonus is that it also drives my dad crazy. Boy it’s the little things isn’t it.
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