Articles

Not wanting to cry

In Uncategorized on July 6, 2016 by mstevensrev

cottonrowcasualty

I am a runner, and today I fell. My morning run took place while I had my car in for service. It was a nice five mile run on a beautiful cool Seattle summer morning. My fall came later in the morning while running with a backpack and gym bag around my shoulder while running for a bus…a bus that would come over 10 minutes later.

It was a solid fall because the double knot of my running shoe had come undone and my right foot caught the loop of the undone left foot. I landed hard, in four points on my body…I know because of the blood.

Two men not far from me ask (sincerely), “Are you alright?” I responded while moving to my knees to re-tie my shoe, “Nothing but my pride hurt.” But as my hands shook tying my shoes and the pain was in every part of my body, I thought of my six year old. All I wanted to do was cry, cry because I was embarrassed, cry because I hurt, cry because I thought I had missed a close bus…dammit just cry. But I didn’t, because sometimes that is what it means to be older. But I can tell you regardless of whether my daughter is hurt or not on her next fall, when she cries I will gladly pick her up.

If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.

Daniel Goleman

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One Response to “Not wanting to cry”

  1. I fall or nearly fall on about every 5th-6th run I do, even more so on trails. I’ve become so used to it that I am surprised when I DON’T have a yardsale or impale myself on a rock. My crying is now just vocal expletives followed by laughter and few more expletives.

    Guess I am used to falling down by now:)

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